THE TRUTH ABOUT SPECIAL EFFECTS

I SAW SMOKEY THE BEAR ON TV TODAY. HE USED TO BE SUCH A COOL BEAR. NOW HE IS DIGITAL. I CAN HARDLY RELATE TO HIM.

OUR GENERATION MUST BE STUPID TO THINK THAT A DIGITAL BEAR IS ANY BETTER THAN A MAN IN A SUIT. THE REALIT IS: THE MAN IN THE SUIT CAN DO A WHOLE LOT MORE.

DID YOU EVER SEE THAT MOVIE ABOUT THE AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON? OR WAS IT PARIS? ANYWAY, ONE OF THOSE MOVIES FEATURED A WEREWOLF IN A SUIT AND THE OTHER FEATURED AN ANIMATRONIC WEREWOLF. EVERYBODY WAS LIKE 'YE HAW! AFTER 70 YEARS OF FILM WE FINALLY GET TO SEE THE WERWOLF CHANGE BEFORE OUR EYES!' STUPID! CUT AWAY. SHOW THE FACE OF THE SCREAMING WOMAN, BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TRY TO MAKE A FAKE WEREWOLF. NONE OF US HAVE EVER SEEN ONE BUT WE SOMEHOW KNOW WHAT ONE LOOKS LIKE.

WEREWOLFS, BEARS, IT'S ALL THE SAME THING. DON'T BUY INTO THE HYPE OF THE TIMES. SOME EFFECTS WORK AND SOME DO NOT. WHEN THE HUMAN VOICE GOES FROM THE LOWEST PITCH IMAGINABLE TO THE HIGHEST, THE HUMAN VOICE DISAPEARS. MACHINES ARE FUN TO PLAY WITH BUT ONLY FOR A TIME. LIKE TECHNOLOGY. LOVE TECHNOLOGY. HELL, EVEN BE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT IT. JUST DON'T MASTERBATE WITH IT.