THOUGHT OF THE DAY

I'M COMPARING MY LIFE TO A SEVEN-DAY WINTER VACATION. AT 25YRS OLD, IT'S AS IF I HAVE ONLY USED UP THE FIRST DAY. AND NOW I AM STAYING UP LATE TO MAKE THE MOST OF IT.

WE ARE ALWAYS RUNNING AROUND, NEVER APPRECIATING TIME ITSELF. ONLY MOMENTARILY DO WE EVEN REALIZE THIS. WHEN THIS IS REALIZED WE MAKE STUPID VOWS THAT WE CAN NEVER POSSIBLY KEEP. THESE MOMENTS ARE HERE TO REMIND US THAT WE ARE IMPERFECT BY DESIGN. WE MUST BE HUBELED BECAUSE NO AMOUNT OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEACH WILL MAKE THESE THOUGHTS OF PEACE EVER-PRESENT.

I HAVE STARTED MY ACCEPTANCE THINKING. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

CHRISTMAS MUSIC

I THINK YOU ARE ALL WONDERING IF I WOULD EVER DO A CHRISTMAS ALBUM. THE ANSWER IS NO UNLESS I COULD WRITE ALL THE SONGS.

THERE WOULD HAVE TO BE SOME OTHER WIERD THEMATIC ELEMENTS TOO. AND IT WOULD HAVE TO BE AS MUCH OF A ROCK RECORD AS A CHRISTMAS RECORD. THEY ALL SAY THAT DON'T THEY? BUT THEY DON'T ALL DELIVER.

lately

Lately I have been thinking about the acceptance record. The hardest thing is the title--though I don't have to name it right off. It's in the works in my brain. I ask myself questions about what it's about. And I still don't really know how I want it to sound. All I know is that it will be pagan and modern in its musical stylings and that it will be somewhat like a quilt in its visual stylings. As far as the title goes, I just want it to not be descriptive or be a place or be a statement. You'd be suprised how few titles that leaves me. I'm open to suggestions.

Brand New Video For You, My Friend

You like that, do you? Well, check this out!

New Show!

Also I'm playing at the Perk On Weddington, Friday 6-9p.m.

gone away

check out my very first youtube video celbrating the completion of Simplify My Eye.

SIMPLIFY FINISHED

I AM HAPPY TO REPORT THAT THE RECORD IS FINISHED. NOW I HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME. I WILL BE SPENDING THIS TIME SEEING YOU LIVE, CONCEPTUALIZING THE FINAL RECORD OF THE GRIEF SERIES AND PREPPING SOME PRETTY HEAFTY INTERNET PROMOTIONS.

I PROMISE TO BE MORE AVAILABLE. A HUGE WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED, BUT THE PAIN WAS WORTH THE PLEASURE I HAVE NOW. I HAVE JUST FINISHED THE GREATEST MUSIC I HAVE EVER WRITTEN...NOW IT'S TIME TO TAKE A BREATH.

great idea

Had a great idea.

Thought that I might do a cocert tour to promote the Grief Series. I would play the two most loved songs from each record in the order they were recorded--this way the audience can watch the emotions unfold.

It will be a well thought out stage performace with many characters playing various roles. I myself will play the feature instruments from all five records (which means that i have to change instruments every two songs) but if we rehearse it enough we can make it smooth.

I just want to do justice to the series as well as play a string of big shows before I leave town. Were talking about lights and video in a real emotional stage play--where the lyrics are the voice and the music is the soundtrack, seems simple (and visual)

still simplifying my eye

THE MORE I THINK ABOUT FINISHING THIS RECORD THE MORE I THINK I'M GOING TO HAVE TO REDISCOVER WHAT IT MEANS. EACH RECORD OF THE GRIEF SERIES HAS UNDERGONE AN INTENSE FINAL PRODUCTION PROCESS. I USUALLY LIVE THE RECORD FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS. I MAKE SURE IT MEETS ALL THE CRITERIA AND THAT I MYSELF KNOW HOW IT DESCRIBES IT'S STAGE IN THE GRIEF SERIES COMPLETELTY. I DIDN'T THINK THERE WAS ANYTHING MORE TO LEARN...OR I'M MAD AT MYSELF FOR TAKING SO MUCH TIME AWAY FROM THIS ONE...I'M SURE IT WILL WORK OUT IN THE END.

SO I GOT TO GO HOME (EVERY GOOD CHANCE I GET) AND LISTEN TO EVERY WORD AND IMAGINE THAT I AM A PERSON WHO HAS JUST FINISHED THE OTHER THREE...IMAGINE I AM SITTING THERE EXPERIENCING LIFE AND DEATH...EXPERIENCING REBIRTH...EXPERIENCING THE SAME RECORD FROM A DIFFERENT MINDSET (OVER AND OVER AGAIN) I HAVE TO WONDER WHERE MICHAEL SCOTT IS TAKING ME. I'LL WONDER IF THE NEXT RECORD WILL SIMPLY BE AN EXPLOSION. I'LL WONDER IF I CAN TAKE IT ANYMORE. AND AS THE RECORD GOES ON I'LL WONDER THAT I'M STILL ALIVE.

WHEN I FININSH THE RECORD...WHEN I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT I'M DONE...I'LL BREATHE A HEAVY BREATH AND PREPARE TO BRING MY AUDIENCE ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE OF THAT CLIFF. WE'LL BE ON TOP OF THE WORLD LOOKING DOWN AT THE MAGNITUTE OF ONE STRUGGLEING SOUL. FROM HERE WE CAN SEE ALL OF MICHAEL SCOTT AND KNOW THAT HE HAS GIVEN EVEYTHING TO INCLUDE HIS EVERY NUANCE. IT MIGHT NOT BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PICTURE BUT IT IS A COMPLETE PICTURE. IT WILL BE THAT MUCH MORE "SIMPLE" AND CLEAR FOR YOU WHEN THIS ONE'S DONE.

smoke break

standing outside. studying for a test. wondering how much material can stick when you are mindlessly reading.

realized that it does have something to do with how much you trust what's internal.

a fleeing thought: this is one of the most important days of my life. i've reached
 new territory. i have seperated myself from new people...and there's no guilty conscience. her test is written in foreign language. my understanding is God-given. i am trusting.

i look to the sky and see the leaves fall. i know that this is one of the most important days of my life. i also know that i will have so many more of these. i've reached new ground. on this ground i stand both humbely and proudly. i have written verses of words to convince myself of these things.

i love myself now. i trust myself. i have put so much evil doubt to rest. i wonder what the leaves falling have to do with where i am...with who i am. i realize that after this strong summer some things will die. i realize that i will never die. i will live on in the path i have choosen. and i realize that this moment is a small story representing my entire lifetime.

i walk back towards the school and i pretend that the door opening represents that time when i'll walk through the gates of heaven. everything is a gift. every color. every person means something very specific for me. God has given me wisdom and the courage to accept that some things die. these lessons shudder through me as i look forward to more of God's love.

been thinking a lot about the ucoming project. that's how i know that simplify has to be done soon. i feel like the music makes itself and it's trying to get me to begin the planning process.

usually i get mad. i say i wish i didn't have so much school and work standing in between me and a finished record. but that's old junk! i chose to be here. furthermore, most of the battle was teaching myself that i was capable of finishing the record (or if you want to think of it this way: i was capable of simplifying my eye.)

all i had to do was wear some holy jeans for a few days. halloween allowed me to do that. in no time my fiddle was sounding more in tune. now i'm just waiting to finish with my teeth on edge.

yes folks. i am getting better at this. you are entering my private world of music. there are much more intimate changes to follow. this has begun in high gear since i attempted to post that beautiful unfinished post.

thanks for listening to me. i feel wild today.

COMING OFF ANOTHER LONG WEEKEND. DEFINETELY IN THE PROCESS. FINDING MY MOTIVATION. MADE ME A NEW BRACLET TODAY.

WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE TIME TO FINISH SIMPLIFY. IT'S COMING OUT SOON. I SWEAR IT! THE PROBLEM WITH THE FIDDLE IS A "HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH" PROBLEM. I KEEP SAWING IT AS IF IT'S THE ONLY INSTRUMENT IN THE SONG. THEN I HOLD MYSELF BACK AND SAY TO MYSELF, "MICHAEL, THE RECORD IS NOT CALLED, 'COMPLICATE MY EYE."

I ALSO WONDER IF THE COLORING BOOK WILL BE DONE BEFORE THE RECORD. I ALSO WONDER IF THE RECORD WILL BE DONE BEFORE I'M SATISFIED. I AM WORRIED. AND I GOT A LOT OF IRONS IN THE FIRE. BUT TODAY I AM OFF OF WORK AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO FINISH. IF IT WASN'T THE BEST RECORD OF MY LIFE I WOULDN'T FEEL SO ANXIOUS. IT'S LIKE I'M STANDING NEAR THE EDGE OF A CLIFF.

just thinking

I WAS JUST THINKING THAT MAYBE THE PRESTINE SOUND QUALITY OF RECENT MUSIC HAS SPOILED US--TO AN END THAT WE CARE MORE FOR THE SOUND OF THINGS THAN WE DO THE EMOTION IN THEM. YOU COULD SAY THAT THERE IS A CLUB BEAT PUSHING UNDERNEATH ALL OF POPULAR MUSIC, BUT YOU COULDN'T SAY THE BEAT IS THE ONLY REASON FOR IT'S POPULARITY; IT SELLS ITSELF ON THE THIN RADIO AS WELL.

AND I DON'T THINK THAT ALL OF POP MUSIC IS VOID OF EMOTION. IT EXPRESESS A LACK OF CAREFULLNESS IN EVEN IT'S CAREFULLY CONSTRUCTED THUMP. BUT I BELEIVE LARGELY THAT IT'S OUR CULTURE DEMANDING WHAT'S EASY. OUR CULTURE IS DEMANDING SIMPLE SOUND COLORS TO FIT OUR MONETARY FRAMES OF MIND. PERHAPS WE WILL AGAIN CARRY OUR SITUATIONS AND ENCOUNTERS WITH US FROM CLUB TO HOME. PERHAPS MUSIC WILL SOMEDAY BE A BIGGER PART OF OUR LIVES AGAIN.

old posts

Everytime I see these old posts it makes me feel all gooffy inside. The only reason you should be seeing my work in such elemental stages is if you could then see it grow beyond. And I know my writing makes little sense sometimes, but it's not impossible...and I really got to keep this going in order that you have a reason to keep reading.

On the old posts still on the page:
The simplify songs turned out as I had planned them. With the exception of the wizard in the swamp--but existing still is a song that takes place in the swamp.

 Where friends and neighbors failed to share stories I filled in the blanks. But I got two very dear and beautiful stories from two close friends. The elements of their stories exist in two songs and are some of the most beautiful elements the record has to offer. By the way, these elements seem a bit antastic. And I'll never give away the secreats. I will only say: Simplify My Eye = based on a true story.

UPDATES

UPDATES. THAT'S ALL IT IS FOR NOW.

1. INDUSTRIAL NOWHERE--IS NOW AVAILABLE. (NOTICE THE COVER AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE) IT TURNED OUT BEAUTIFUL.

2. SIMPLIFY MY EYE--THE FIDDLE REMAINS COMPLICATED, BUT IT'S CURRENTLY BEING ADDED (CURRENTLY BEING SIMPLIFIED.) EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE THIS RECORD THE BEST. PRODUCTION BEGINS SOON.

3. I HOPE TO START POSTING REGULARLY. I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A JOYFUL DAY.

Simplify will be a record of story songs. I’m going to throw some themes out here and ask that you give me some southern plot ideas. Real life experiences work the best...


     I’m looking to write songs about:

     Modern prescription pill abuse (as opposed to the country classic “alcohol”)

     The Arkansas ice storms

     A ghost that lives in the garden (preferable the gone wife of a widower)

     A wizard in the swamp who teaches children new age concepts

     How a child’s hand-drawn world is more beautiful than our actual world


I promise I will use one of your idea if it is southern enough, Michael Scott enough, country music enough, family-related and slightly depressing in it’s nature. Also, if it’s inspiring or relatable to those who are oppressed in any way; women, children, animals, homosexuals, middle easterners, etc., you can bet I will use it.

Playing You Like A Fiddle

The fiddle is a very hard instrument. A lot of people say this but they have no idea what they are talking about—which is why I can’t agree with them. The fiddle is a hard instrument but it is exactly what I need—as smoothly as I can bow.

If the records were landscapes, Simplify would be a valley. It may take longer to cross this territory, though it is familiar. As always, there will be people to meet and people to leave but these characters have been involved in my body for so long.

Depression

I’m sitting here at another one of these crossroads. It’s time for the Depression record and I suppose I am meeting it halfway. And when the snow clears I’ll go out and take Industrial Nowhere to the printers. It’s time that you see it and can hold it in your hands.

As for me, I’ve been holding the fiddle a lot lately, trying to saw out the first song. Its name is ‘Mind of Mary.” The record’s name will be “Simplify My Eye.”

Once again, thank you to those who are reading these and, once again, I will promise to keep you posted and fail to do so.